ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
