Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
