I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
