My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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