Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
