One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
