I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
