Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
