Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
