I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
