Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
