Slut skills are useful in every country.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
