somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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