i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
