You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
