I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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