Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
