yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
