I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
