I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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