Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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