Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
