So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
