I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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