He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
no you cant smoke seaweed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
