We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
