For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
