I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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