How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
