For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
