He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
