Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
