Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
