big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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