do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
