The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
