You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
