I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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