i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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