I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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