so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize