I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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