i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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