so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
