so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
