Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
