and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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