I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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