is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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