Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
