it hurts more in the daytime
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
