Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
