I am puke
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
