with your own penis?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
